Integrating and Recalibrating Your Next Level

Are you guilty of reading all the books, watching all the webinars, listening to ALL THE PODCASTS but still feel kind of stuck with where you're at in your personal development journey? You're in good company because I was like this too. At one point I remember never being able to sit in silence because I felt like I *always* had to be learning so there was a podcast constantly on in my ear. Then I would go out and regurgitate what I learned but never actually took time to integrate it into my life. What I didn't know back then, was how important integration was. So that's what I'm going to walk you through today.

The Difference Between Integration and Consumption

Let’s start with the definition of integrate; it means to combine one thing with another so that they become whole. If you learn something new, just finished a coaching program, or read this amazing book that is not actually part of you until you integrate. It simply is just something you’ve learned/consumed. Consumption is when we consume and then we regurgitate. Maybe you regurgitate right after you’ve learned something or you might be someone who just consumes one thing after another. An analogy to consumption is sort of like fast fashion; there’s no substance to it, no embodiment to what you’re learning, and you sound like everyone else. An example of consumption is when you see someone posting an inspirational quote under a photo and you can feel that there is no embodiment to the quote they are sharing. This happens with a lot of people who want to be successful right now. Success is not about how much you achieve but rather who you’re being in any given moment.

I’ll be the one to say that leaders and coaches have it wrong when they’ve just experienced a learning lesson and they quickly share what they’ve learned through their content. You can tell and you’ll be able to feel the lack of substance behind what they’re sharing compared to a leader or coach who has integrated their learning lessons, insights, and key points and you can feel their level of potency. Integration is taking the time to embody learning lessons. I mentioned the two words that are hindering your growth in a previous podcast episode and those two words were “I know.” This was me for the longest time as I was someone who consumed all the knowledge for how to grow a business but I wasn’t actually embodying the knowledge I consumed and never integrated it to create action. When I wasn’t successful and didn’t have a business, I would reach out for advice as to what I should do. Turns out all the advice I was receiving were things I already knew BUT I was not embodying what I knew. Integration is also slowing down after a deep experience, less volume of what you’re consuming and more quality over what you’re bringing into your life.

Going back to my fashion analogy, integration is like vintage fashion in a sense that it’s not going out of style. Every single year, what you learn becomes more applicable to your life and will have much greater value as the years carry on. What you’ve integrated, like vintage clothing, is made of great material and withstands time. Leaders who integrate are ones who are here for the long run. They’re not interested in being a one-hit wonder and understand that success is an experience of their journey and not where they land in life. You don’t have to consume so much content, you don’t have to be successful right now. 

The Energetics of the Healthy and Unhealthy Masculine 

There is masculine and feminine energy. Within those two energies there is the shadow and the divine; also known as the healthy and the unhealthy and also known as the wounded or the wonder. So integration is the divine, healthy masculine and when we are expressing ourselves through this energy we are able to be deeply present and are able to create a safe environment for ourselves. Consumption is unhealthy masculine energy and that expresses itself as very competitive and always wanting to win as well as always being focused on goals and attached to success.

Think of it like this: You found a new fear/insight about yourself so then you start to integrate. You take the learning lessons and start embodying and taking action on them. It’s not enough to become aware of something; you have to take imperfect and aligned action around it. For example, you’ve just discovered that you have this fear of being seen. You have a deep fear of being misunderstood and that’s why you struggle with showing up on social media. How can you integrate this new level of awareness for yourself? You might start small with posting something that you’re normally too afraid to post and holding space for yourself, being present to your feelings so you can take this action. After you’ve taken the leap of integration, it’s important to incorporate recalibration. 

Why Slowing Down is a Necessity For Recalibration

There’s a very tender moment that happens after integration and I call it recalibration. Recalibration is the process of our nervous system registering this as safe. The reason why you still feel stuck is because this new level of awareness still doesn’t feel safe to you. Even though you’ve completed the program or finished a book, there’s still a part of you that doesn’t feel safe and uncertain if this is you. Recalibration is for you to operate from that next level version of yourself all the time. There can be no integration without recalibration and vice versa. In order to do this, we need to slow down. Integration requires us to slow down; how can you expect to create a safe environment for yourself if you’re always on the go? You can’t. This is when we need the healthy feminine energy of slowing down, nurturing ourselves along with the healthy masculine of creating the safe space for us so we can be deeply present. If you don’t do this, you’re going to be constantly fighting your subconscious. My clients always tell me, “Consciously, I know that no one is going to judge me for posting but my subconscious is what’s keeping me fearful.”

Here’s a personal example: In 2019, I’ve become awakened to the fact that I was nowhere near in touch with my healthy feminine energy. Yes, I operated very much from my healthy masculine but I was also operating from my unhealthy masculine at the same time. The later half of 2019 was when I started to integrate my awareness of not being in touch with my healthy feminine. I committed to my healing and started to take action on developing a stronger connection to my intuition and to Source so I can trust myself as well as starting to operate from the healthy feminine and really leaning into what something looks like and feels like. I integrated this until 2020 and around this time last year was when the recalibration began. I started to take action from my healthy feminine and masculine instead of operating from my wounded masculine of scarcity and hustle. Until you slow down to recalibrate, you’re constantly going to be in this negative cycle of who you are is never going to be good enough.

4 Ways to Bring Integration Into Your Life 

How can you bring integration into your life today?

1. Dedicate one week out of the month as a reflection process

   1. We do this in EVOLV! The last week of every month is our integration week. The journal prompts are surrounded by what our energy for the month was, how we leaned into our intention this month, and what we learned about ourselves this month. When we don’t take the time to reflect on who we’re being, we’re going to be operating from an auto-pilot energy and that’s not what we’re about. We want to be conscious, divine feminine leaders; and conscious, divine femine leaders take time to reflect!

2. Schedule off-time in your calendar after your experiences

   1. I have two private clients who just came off a coaching program and I advised them to take a month to really integrate what they learned before they start to work with me so I can have them in their next best version of themselves, not themselves as someone who runs program after program

3. Take action on the books and podcasts you consume & whittling down the volume in what you consume

   1. When you’re reading make sure you highlight, take notes, join book club discussions. With podcasts, whittle down your listening to 1-2 shows that you can really hone in and take action on the things they talk about

4. Journaling

   1. Journaling is a beautiful way to incorporate integration today. You can use the Your Highest Self journal flow or set a timer for 3-5 minutes to free flow your stream of consciousness.