How to Make Conscious Pivots in Your Life When You Feel Unfulfilled
When you’re on a self growth journey, it's inevitable that you start to outgrow your current self. There comes a point when you decide what you're doing isn't fulfilling and it's time to make a change. Maybe that looks like a change in careers, a change in your relationship, a change in your day to day habits and actions, or a change in your business and coaching niche.
The biggest mistake you could make is to not change at all or to change so suddenly you jeopardize everything you've built. This episode is all about how to make pivots in your life that lead you to fulfillment not burnout or regret.
Why You're Not Making a Change
These are the three reasons why you aren’t making change and getting results:
You don’t trust yourself
You fear what will or will not happen
You worry
Does any of this feel like you? If so, It’s important to acknowledge what and why you’re not making a change; meet yourself with compassion while doing this. What we don’t acknowledge we cannot change.
Impulsive vs Indecisive vs Conscious Decisions to Make Changes
Once you’ve met yourself with compassion, you are now ready to do the work! Let’s talk about decision making and compare the three different types: impulsive, indecisive, conscious.
Impulsive: You don’t want to sit with the discomfort of making a decision thus resulting in action that wasn’t well thought out
Indecisive: You don’t want to sit with the discomfort of making the wrong decision thus resulting in over-analyzing and overthinking
Conscious: You are willing to sit with the discomfort while using your inner authority from your Human Design and your self-trust to make the best decision for you without external feedback.
So many of us look outside of ourselves for validation and answers because we don’t want to sit with the discomfort. I’ve experienced this in the past where I sought other people’s opinion because my way of thinking was extremely black and white; I felt there was a right and wrong to everything but wasn’t confident enough to trust that I knew the answer from within.
What kind of decision maker are you? Regardless, it’s important that the next time you are making a decision, analyze and sit with the discomfort you are facing. The discomfort is there for a reason. It’s there because you are about to make a huge change in your life and it’s important for you to stop and be present and give this decision you’re about to make your full attention.
Using Your Human Design Inner Authority For Conscious Decision Making
Now that we’ve established the types of decision makers, let’s take a look at the inner authorities with Human Design. I believe inner authority is meant to show how we process information and make decisions. There are seven inner authorities but I’ll only be addressing five known as: sacral, spleen, emotional, ego, and g.
Sacral Authority: This is my inner authority and someone with this kind responds to impulses coming from the outside and to yes/no questions. Response can be a sacral sound (uh-huh for yes and un-un for no). You feel a visceral response of openness or contraction in the lower abdomen.
Splenic Authority: This kind experiences immediate body awareness and only happens once. If the answer to a question is no, you’ll want to run away. If the answer to a question is yes, the well-being in your body enhances. An example of measuring this authority is if you hangout with someone and you didn’t enjoy it you know that’s a “no” and if you hangout with someone and feel lit up afterward you know that’s a “yes.”
Emotional: For this kind, you would need time for the decision-making process. This authority requires an ebb and flow of emotions before coming to a decision. It’s best to not make a decision when you are overly emotional (extremely happy/extremely sad).
Ego: For the ego authority, you experience the vibrancy and majestic quality of in your tone of voice or simply the visceral feeling of willpower in one’s body that something wants to be accomplished.
G: For the g authority, you are typically guided by your highest self when coming to decisions.
Learning to tap into your Human Design is a game changer. After you’ve had an idea of what type of decision maker you are while understanding what your inner authority is, my lovework for you is to practice using your inner authority. If you’re coming off years of not being able to trust yourself, this work is going to be hard but it’s so worth it. Our body emits an energy when things are a yes or a no. 7% of how we communicate is through words and the rest of the 93% is depicted as energy. Our heart knows before our brain knows. The more you practice trusting yourself, the easier it will be to make decisions.
Tapping Into The Mindset of Adaptability
Disclaimer: Not every decision we make is going to be in alignment. Sometimes you’re going to make the wrong choice and that’s okay. We’re so scared of failing and things that may or may not happen and because of that fear we have to be adaptable. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’re going to be okay because you choose to be. A prime example of adaptability is my entrepreneurial journey of how I started out as a professional competitor in the bodybuilding world that I eventually became a competition prep coach. As I was on this journey, I started learning and growing more into my capabilities of life coaching, spirituality, and healing limiting beliefs. I was changing and evolving into someone who focused on personal development and empowering women. In order for you to expand to your highest potential, sometimes you have to pivot. You are allowed to outgrow yourself. Things will always work for us because rejection is just redirection.
Facing Your Fears Head on
We just have to do it. Easier said than done but here are some journal prompts that can help you reflect when deciding to pivot:
What’s the best case scenario? Think and dream as big as you can here!
What’s the worst case scenario?
If the worst were to happen, could I survive this? A lot of times we make our fears very irrational and you most likely can survive it!
Also, you don’t have to burn down what you’ve built and give up what you’re doing just because you are making a change. Personally, I require my clients to take 48 hours before making a huge life shift. Don’t feel like you have to let go of something, we do better when we have a safety net. I don’t think you have to be at rock bottom to make a change. Trust and believe in yourself enough that you are committed to the change. If you’ve been avoiding jumping into a new decision because you think you have to start all over, it’s not true; that is a limiting belief and potentially some inner child wounds to be worked through.
Another tip I’d love to share is seek mentorship and advice from those above you. Choose someone who faced something similar to you, someone who was in your shoes and can offer their own personal experiences and perspective because what you both faced is aligned. Your fears are there to keep you safe. Recognize when you're self projecting the worst case scenario. Worry is self-rejection. Being worried about things that have not happened yet isn't serving you so just don’t do it!
