Can I Really Do This? Overcoming Imposter Syndrome For Good
In this episode, we talk about imposter syndrome! This is something that I’ve experienced and what I coach heavily behind the scenes with my clients in my mastermind and membership community. If you’re brilliant, ambitious (which I know you are!), and always think you’re not good enough, you most likely suffer from it.
What Imposter Syndrome Is And How It Shows Up In Your Life
According to Google, imposter syndrome is defined as, “a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.” -- I’d like to add onto the definition with “...exposed as not good enough or was never good enough in the first place.” This internalized fear is what’s holding you back from taking action to achieve your secret dream.
Imposter syndrome can show up professionally in a sense where you don’t feel good enough to go after that promotion or to apply to another job despite having the skills to do so. It can also show up in relationships where you have finally arrived at what you value in a relationship but you continue having this fear of being seen as not who you say you are. Being a coach and entrepreneur, I’ve seen this show up for myself and my clients because we constantly are putting ourselves out there. This thought of, “Who am I to do this?” shows up while experiencing signs of imposter syndrome.
4 Step Process Of How To Overcome It For Good
Overcoming imposter syndrome is a lot easier than we think. If you’ve been keeping up with me for awhile, you’ll know what these steps are as they are steps I’ve mentioned prior to this episode. For anyone new here, the 4 steps are as follows:
Step 1: Know The Signs
Here are a couple of signs that indicate imposter syndrome:
You gaslight yourself & find it hard to celebrate your accomplishments
You think you just got “lucky”
You hold yourself to impossibly high standards
You struggle with accepting praise
You never feel good enough
Do any of these sound familiar to you? If so, you aren’t alone! Because imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern, this means it was something that you’ve learned. However, what you are able to learn you are also able to unlearn. It’s important for us to identify the signs because we can’t unlearn what we don’t know. Are you willing to dive deeper? Are you willing to be wrong?
Step 2: Let Go of Perfectionism & Do More B+ Work
Once you’re aware of the signs, how do you heal? Through letting go of perfectionism. Perfectionism acts as a bandaid for the worthiness wound. This is something I’ve discovered through becoming a recovering perfectionist! In order to overcome imposter syndrome, we have to heal perfectionism. Healing perfectionism is done through doing more B+ work. Take action, create the content; If you don’t do B+ work, you’re never going to get better. Perfectionism comes from holding yourself to a high standard and the more you do that the more you are choosing to just stay within your comfort zone. We all know that growth comes from being out of your comfort zone and you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t all about leveling up and fostering your self-growth!
Step 3: Meet Yourself with Kindness and Compassion
Kindness and compassion are so underrated! When the going gets tough, ask yourself: Am I meeting myself with compassion or am I just judging myself? -- My past self never knew she had a choice. Kindness and compassion is a spectrum and it’s something you get better with overtime. It’s also about having the awareness to make the choice to do what will benefit you and your highest good.
Step 4: Embrace It
Here’s the thing, overcoming imposter syndrome is an ongoing journey. Every time you level up in life, you are most likely going to be met with it again. Embracing what it is allows you to realize that you are not the thoughts you usually identify with (i.e. I’m not good enough, my anxiety is back, etc). When you are able to separate yourself from these thoughts and are able to see it objectively, you no longer identify with it and that is so powerful in itself.
How You Can Start Doing The Work And Coach Yourself
When I am faced with signs of imposter syndrome, I take the time to sit with my fear and the feeling around my thoughts. I also take the time to sit with my inner child and meet her with compassion and kindness because she is feeling very vulnerable when these thoughts arise. I then explain to her a breakdown of what I’m feeling and remind her that we (my inner child + present self) are not responsible for what other people think, say, or do about who we’re being.
We don’t always have to attach ourselves to every thought that comes through our mind. Try seeing your thoughts as clouds that float on by and remind yourself that you have the choice to pick a thought to identify with or allow it to just go on by.
